the beginning

D'you remember when I said I was going to be a crazy-cat-lady someday?
Of course you do! Because I never stopped saying it.

I could just see myself at 60, surrounded by around 17 cats in various states of disinterested condescension, just sitting and lying about, in a smelly old house, while I huddle in a rocking chair and cackle madly.
Aah! that's the life. not!

And now, to my helpless horror and indignation, I've laid ze feline foundation!
I now have not one, but TWO cats!
Yes, just let that sink in for a moment.

Two damn kittens destroying everything,  snapping at my heels, following me everywhere...
*sigh*
This is the beginning of the end, my friends.

cure

I hate doctors.

no offence to doctors, really. i know quite a few in person, and they're all very nice people, i have absolutely no reason to complain.
but, soon as they go to work, and get all brisk, professional and doctory, i want to have nothing to do with them anymore.

this should not be confused with being 'afraid of doctors', which is not what it is, not at all! it's dislike, really!
paediatricians are great, but all their attempts to distract me, when i was a kid, only made me more nervous and suspicious. he'd be saying "so, do you have any pets?", and I'd just know (with that freaky 6th sense thing that 6 year olds are supposed to have) that he had the hepatitis shot ready in his hand.
i mean, they're sooo noble, they save lives... i know! but they also trick children with candy and friendly chitchat!

i must go see a doctor i about an hour, who will scrutinise and say judgmental things about my tonsils. what if i like my tonsils!?

given a choice, i'd keep the achey neck and swollen nodes! okay, not really.
but i don't want to see a doctor!
:(

malady

okay, let me explain my situation to you.
i have swollen lymph nodes on my neck, which means that my face is now round, so that i look something like this:


I'm also running a temperature,have the most spectacular neck-ache, and every time i try to chew something, my lower jaw hurts like it's going to fall off.
this has compelled me to sacrifice, among other things, a steak sizzler lunch.

also, my belief that my parents either
a) have the mental development of five year olds, or
b) secretly want to kill me
has been reaffirmed by the fact that they tried to give me a disprin pill, 'dissolved' in cold water! upon remembering that disprin is in fact supposed to be dissolved in warm water, the heated the entire mess, half dissolved disprin and all, and then made me drink it.

I've been surviving on liquids for the last couple of days, and because my Dida is away, i have absolutely no one to fuss over me.
my cat only sticks around so that she can curl up under my blanket, and my Dad has been trying, in his own special annoying, nagging-tone, to convince me to wrap a scarf around my head.

and there's never anything good on T.V. *sigh*

crisis

there's no way i'm ever going to make it.
there isn't enough time.

i feel like i'm not doing enough, there's people out there, making decisions...making changes.
people almost exactly like me...but i can't even make up my mind.

this isn't the time, or the place. it's all wrong.
what if i'm not ready to let go of these things, not ready to move on...then again, what if i never move on at all? what if this is all there is to it?
if i'm not ready now, maybe i'll never be.

security is not a good thing. it makes you want to let go. to just slow down and take it easy. but that way, there won't be any perfection, just me.

and that's not good enough.

i've caught a cold!
yes apparently i'm capable of doing that even when it's 32°C outside!
:(

but i'm still drinking really cold water, and i had this green-apple soda with lots of ice in it (was good!), and i just took a shower...at 8:30 in the evening!

this weird thing happens when i catch a cold:
first my voice starts sounding a little husky, which wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't followed by the sound-like-a-frog phase (or as the raccoon lord puts it: sound-like-bruce-willis phase)
and finally, the grand final phase involves losing my voice completely!
i know it's coming...
i'll wake up tomorrow and realise that i can only communicate through gestures.
*sigh*
shouldn't have had the apple soda.