afternoon

My world is bathed in that strange, beautiful afternoon sunlight.
Nostalgia.
Suddenly, I feel more helpless than I ever have…
I have to sit down and catch my breath.

My world is slipping…falling away.
Once again…I stand alone.
Reach out in the darkness. Searching.

My world is fading away fast…into twilight.
I’m losing Me.
Suddenly, it’s more than I can take…
I sink onto my knees, close my eyes.

It’s all gone now…

Twice a day, I pass death on my way.

Death smiles at me.
A smile, that is at once, reassuring and terrifying.

I watch, unable to tear my eyes away from it.
The frantic clucking turns into a drawn out scream of agony.
That too, dies away.

Death looks up, from the puddles of blood, from the sanitized white-tiled floor,
and smiles.
A sickening, terrifying smile.

Death, in the bloody knife on the counter, in the money handed over.
Death: packaged, sealed and delivered.

Then it all gets swallowed up… in the all-consuming hunger that we live for, live in.

Death fades away.
Other sights and sounds take over.

It’s all sealed and shelved, until tomorrow…

my frosted ginger-bread mornings…
my crisp arum-lily afternoons,
Mahogany nights.

Winter is here. I can tell.
Something has changed in the air.
The quietness has set in.

feeling good...

got caught in the rain...yeay!
am dripping slush all over the floor now.

but i feel weally good!